32. WIDOWHOOD: IS
IT A CURSE?
Elisha and An Unnamed Widow
2 Kgs. 4:1-7
Navamani Peter
Case Studies:
1. I want to share a story about three women who
became widows at an early age. They came from one family
belonging to three generations in a village in Tamil Nadu. The
older woman, now in her eighties, became a widow at a very young
age. She had a daughter, who lost her husband in her middle
age. This daughter had two daughters and one son. The son
was a scientist but at the age of 35 he died, leaving a 32 year old
young widow. We see three women who become widows from three
generations belonging to one family. Their Hindu friends and
neighbors strongly feel that there is a curse on the family, as it is
very unusual for such a thing to happen to one family. Of course,
some of the Christians in the community may also believe in the curse
and superstition, but they are careful not to talk about it.
They have lost their place as punya stree or
sumangali in the family and society at a young age. As such they
can not wear flowers in their hair or use glass bangles and take part
in the festivities, such as wedding ceremonies and cultural events.
Their presence in such ceremonies is considered to be a bad omen.
These women are shunned and humiliated for no fault of their own.
They bear this humiliation without any outward questions or protest,
because they are bound by age old customs which are ruthless and
dehumanizing. But they question in their hearts, “why has God
done this to us?”
Case Study 2: Banu
Banu is a widow from Bihar. She was married
when she was six years old to a man who was aged 32. She was ill
treated by her in-laws even before her husband’s death. She
became a widow at the age of eighteen. There was an Ashram near
the village, which helped young girls to become literate and also
taught them some skills. Banu learned tailoring and was given a
job in the Ashram itself, teaching other girls. When she tried to
become self-reliant by living separately, in-laws were not too happy
with her attempt to be independent. They began to trouble her and
destroyed the house, making it impossible for her to stay there
any longer. When Banu turned to her brother for help, she was
shocked that instead of helping her, her brother joined with her
in-laws to ill treat her and also threatened her, saying that if she
does not co-operate with the in-laws he will influence the Ashram
authorities to terminate her from her present job.
Having faced so many battles and won some victories
in her fights, living in a rented room and hoping to get back the house
which is her rightful property, she continues her fight without the
support of her brother but with the solidarity of a few of her friends
at the ashram.
Case Study 3: Roop Kanwar
SATI (burning of the wife/widow on the funeral pyre
of her dead husband) was practiced in India till the middle of the 19th
century. However, a decree against its practice was promulgated
in the year 1829-30, making it a crime.
But recently the ugly head of sati has shown up
again all of a sudden and has been glorified when a young widow, Roop
Kanwar, from the village of Deorala in Rajasthan was burnt alive on the
funeral pyre of her husband. This young widow was supposed to
have jumped into the fire of her own free will. The government is
now taking steps to stop this atrocity on widows.
Widows in India hit the headlines only when they are
victims of sensational and violent atrocities like sati. But
millions of women experience a living death from the first day of their
widowhood, through humiliation, loneliness and poverty.
Widows in Bible Times and in the Early Church:
From the earliest Bible times, widows were looked
upon with compassion. They were protected by special legislation
along with the `fatherless' and `the stranger' (Deut. 16:11,
26:12, 27:19, Ps. 146:9, Zech. 7:10). The widows were permitted
to glean in the fields and orchards (Deut. 24:19). A widow was
permitted to engage in levirate marriage under specific circumstances
to raise up the seed to her childless husband's line by his brother or
near kinsman. She could participate in the community sacrifices
and feasts (Deut. 14:29). The tithe of the "Third Year" was
divided between Levite, widows, orphans and strangers.
By the middle of the second century C.E. the
ministry of widows was recognized as a special category of leadership
and service in the church. In the apostolic church, widows were
not only recipients of systematic charity when they were old and had no
relatives to support them, but many belonged to a religious order
ministering to other widows.
In the third century C.E. in Syria, the widows were
assigned to take care of the sick, visiting and laying hands on them,
in addition to fasting and prayer. It was the Bishop who assigned
this task to them.
In the fourth century C.E. there is evidence that
widows were assigned some tasks in the community. The
qualifications for these widows were: they must be sixty years of age,
married once, matured, and economically independent. They were
assigned pastoral duties of counseling, visiting and praying and
teaching. Their teaching function was to train young women.
They were not permitted to teach in the church, but only to pray and to
hear those who teach. They were permitted to anoint women in the
ceremony of baptism. At a later stage the roles of widows and
single unmarried women have been passed on to the deacons.
Widows in the Church in India:
In India the church has always had a special place
for widows, in terms of giving financial help. The church
continues to support widows through a special fund. Gifts are
given at festival times. In earlier years if widows were able and
educated, they were given responsibility as Bible women, providing them
a house and a small salary or allowance, to visit homes and pray or
visit the sick in hospitals. For example, in the Church
Missionary Society (CMS- now part of the Church of South India) a
special ministry called Zenana Mission, for widows, orphans and
destitute women was established in some towns.
But the church failed to help the widows to break
barriers of age old customs and traditions which put them in a
disadvantaged position in the society. The church has to come
forward to liberate them from the evil and superstitious practices and
customs in the society. Unfortunately many Christian families
believe in these customs and practices, thereby humiliating and
alienating the widows from the main stream of the society.
In most Hindu communities, widows are considered to
be non-entities. They are not allowed to participate in wedding
ceremonies, worship and other celebrations. They are not
allowed to beautify themselves with bindi, saffron, kumkum (used to
adorne hair parting or the fore-head) and are also prevented from
wearing flowers in their hair. All these are considered auspicious
signs by the Hindu community and are marks of having a husband.
In some communities they were forced to shave their heads and wear
white sarees. All this is to make widows as unattractive as
possible to men. This is still practiced in many parts of
India. A widow is doubly cursed if she has no financial resources
or has no sons to protect her, to take care of her financially or to
light the fire of her funeral pyre.
Economic Life of Widows:
Traditionally a widow is still considered to be
dependent on her family, her sons, if any, or her brothers, for
security and financial support. Many widows, especially in the
rural areas, live in precarious situations because they do not own any
property or have any other economic resources. They have no
option but to live as part of her husband's joint family, take care of
the children of the relatives, tend the cattle and cook food for
them. Even if a widow is independent, she still has to depend on
her children and relatives for her security.
Even if the husband makes a will before his death,
stipulating that his widow inherits her share of the property, she may
still be thrown out on to the streets at the hands of her
in-laws. If the widow has sons she receives better treatment than
the one who has only daughters, as the in-laws want to continue to have
a hold on the property.
One indication of the callous treatment of widows is
that in the city of Brindaban in Uttar Pradesh we see many widows
living on the temple premises and begging on the streets as destitutes,
completely cut off by their families.
Biblical Reflection:
The Prophet and the Widow, 2 Kings 4:1-7
In the story of the prophet Elisha and the widow,
the widow's problem was not starvation, but debt. The family must
have been living on charity from the community even when her
husband was alive, as he was a small time prophet. He died,
leaving his wife and sons in debt. The threat to her sons was not
death but slavery. Selling a child into bonded labor was a
possible means of clearing the debt for a peasant woman.
For the widow, her sons were her only hope to live,
but the creditors had decided to take them away as slaves.
Discouraged, disillusioned and helpless, she decided that death would
be better than slavery.
Here we see the despondent condition of a
widow. She had no property, no financial resources, no protection
for herself and her sons as they were small. The relatives must
have abandoned her, thinking that they would not only have to take care
of the family, but also have to clear her debts. She must have
turned for help to the community where her husband was a small time
prophet. She probably did not get any help from them
either. She had faith in the prophet Elisha who volunteered to
help her.
A friend of mine told me about her sister who became
a widow at a young age. She had neither financial nor emotional
support from her in-laws. She depended entirely on her own
parents and sisters and also on her church community.
Unfortunately, the people in the church did not sustain her spiritually
in her time of grief. They shattered her faith in the church
community through gossip and indifference. She was disappointed
and left the church, and joined a Pentecostal group where she found a
place for herself, love and solidarity from people. This is not
an isolated case. They are many widows in India whose lives can
be compared to the life of the woman in the story. They are
socially alienated, financially destitute, and spiritually
neglected. It is in times of crisis, loss and sorrow that the
church can become a healing faith community, through which we can
experience God's grace and love.
The question that prophet Elisha asked the widow
was, "What do you have?" (v.2). Very often in times of grief and
crisis and discouragement, we forget the resources we ourselves
have. The man of God was reminding her that she had something
more than food and money. She had life that God had given
her. She could build her courage out of her loss; she must build
hope out of her hopeless situation. She must tap all the
resources possible. He also reminded her that there was a
community around her. There were friends and neighbors who could
help her. She must not forget those important resources in her
life. The man of God, her sons and neighbors, gave her a new
life, a new courage to live a meaningful life again.
In the New Testament we read the story of another
widow, who put two copper coins into the treasury (Mk. 12:42-44).
Jesus lifted her status in the society by saying publicly that the
widow had contributed more than others, as she had given out of her
poverty. She put all she had whereas the others contributed out
of their abundance. Jesus acknowledged her presence and
recognized her sacrificial sharing and praised her.
The church which preaches Christ and the gospel must
take up the challenge to lift up the status of widows and enable them
to use their talents and skills in the ministry of the church and
society.
Questions for Discussions:
1. Are there some prejudices against widows in your
community? How are these expressed?
2. What legislation must the government bring to
improve the social and economic condition of widows?
3. How are you personally involved in the ministry of
widows?
4. What are the ways in which your church provides
physical, economic, social and/or spiritual support
and encouragement to widows?
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Brown, Raymond, et.al., eds. The New Jerome Biblical
Commentary. Bangalore: Theological
Publications in India, 1992.
Joseph, Ammu. "Little to be Merry About," The Hindu
Magazine, Bangalore Edition, April 24,
1994.
Miller, Madeline, & J. Jane, Harper’s Bible Commentary, New
York: Harper & Brothers, 1952.
Newsom, Carol and Sharon H. Ringe, eds. The Women’s Bible
Commentary, Louisville: The Westminster/John
Knox, 1992.