14. BREAKING
BARRIERS IN THE FAMILY
Eph. 5:21-25; Gen. 2:18-22
Rachel Bagh
Introduction:
Our task will be
to try to understand the status and roles of
women in the family, and to spell out some of the
barriers to women's fulfillment of those roles. As we attempt to
interpret the Biblical understanding of the family and of women's
roles, we are faced with several difficulties.
1. The first relates to interpretation of the Bible
itself, and the authority it holds for us. We have already given
considerable attention to this topic, especially within the first
section of our Bible studies, but we will raise some of these issues
again here.
2. The second difficulty relates to the particular
religio-cultural and socio-economic contexts within which families are
set, and how those values and structures impact the various family
members in different ways and shape their identities and expectations
of themselves and of others.
Indian culture is shaped by the dominant Hindu
culture, even for Christians and other minority communities. That
culture is basically patriarchal, that is, males are given priority,
they are assumed to be superior, and to have the right to rule over
women, children, and even over males of lower social and economic
status. However, our culture is also fast changing, under the
impact of the forces of globalization and modernization, and hence our
value systems, family patterns, and our identities are in a state of
transition. Some of these changes are positive, like
opportunities for education, new skills and employment for women;
others may cause more stress and suffering for women, such as
increasing abuse and violence in the home and on the streets.
Families are social institutions which are made by
God to fulfill certain purposes in this world. Thus both husbands
and wives, who are the main pillars of the family, need to understand
their roles and responsibilities, so that they can fulfill those
purposes. This holds true for all families, whatever their
religious faith or no faith.
For the purposes of this study, however, we will
confine ourselves to undertaking a collective search within the
Biblical tradition for an understanding of the roles of women within
the family.
Hence it is important to recognize that there are
two views put forward in the Bible regarding the position of women in
the home and family, one which accepts the man as the authority figure,
while the woman is subordinate, the second which rejects the dominance
of the male and advocates equality for both husband and wife. The
understanding of the roles and relations of man and woman, in turn, are
dependent upon the understanding of their positions in the order of
creation.
Unfortunately, Biblical passages are often misused
and misinterpreted in isolation, in order to justify the arguments of
their advocates. Thus, for many, Biblical references like
Genesis 2:18-25 (story of the creation) and Gen 3:16 (husband... shall
rule over you), and Eph 5:21-25 and its parallel "household codes," 1
Peter 3:1-8 and Col. 3:15-19, are familiar portions used to sanction
the superiority of the husband and the inferiority of the wife, which
has created or reinforced oppressive structures in families. This
understanding is further justified by arguing that Eve was created
after Adam but was first to yield to temptation and to lead Adam into
temptation as well, thereby causing the fall of humanity. Even
Paul in Corinthians puts forward this argument.
These Biblical interpreters conveniently
ignore Paul's forceful emphasis on both freedom and equality which we
experience in Christ, see especially Gal. 3:28, "There is no longer Jew
or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and
female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus." They choose to
overlook Gen. 1:27, where male and female are created - at the same
time and as equals- in the image of God, in favor of the second account
of creation in Gen. 2-3.
Therefore, in order to get a clear understanding, we
need to turn to a careful study and interpretation of scripture.
Read together Ephesians 5:21-25.
In Ephesians, chaps 4-6, Paul gives details on how
Christians, especially the new converts, should live as
believers. In 5:21, he summarizes his instructions in a decisive
statement, "Be subject to one another out of reverence for
Christ." The word `subject' is a translation of the Greek
word hypotasso, -- hypo=ruler, tasso=to arrange. It is best
translated as `relate yourselves to,' or `adjust to' one another out of
reverence... It shows a universal, reciprocal and mutual
relationship--that husbands should `be subject to' or respond to the
needs of their wives, and wives should `be subject to' or respond to
the needs of their husbands `out of reverence for Christ.'
Thus we gather that even in this passage, where
women are instructed to `be subject to' or `submit to' their husbands
(v. 22 ) the woman is not inferior to man, to be ruled willfully.
As Paul says, ".... there is neither male nor female, for you are all
one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Her submission to her husband
is a voluntary act, as done unto the Lord. A similar command is
given to husbands, to love their wives, to reduce the oppression.
I believe that God's commands were not meant to increase the oppression
either in the immediate context of the Bible at that time, or in the
present day situation. His commands are rather to rescue women
from an oppressive structure.
Many argue that Paul has increased the oppression of
women by asking them "to be silent" or to be subordinate under the
husband's authority.
God's word never brings destruction to anyone in any
situation. His word, in fact, saves people and gives life to
people. We need to understand and interpret God's word in the
light of God’s nature, total plan, and concern for human beings in the
past, present, and future.
Even though the Jewish people were the direct
recipients of God's word, they were humans in their own social setting,
which was patriarchal in both social and religious dimensions.
The Old Testament reflects the subservient roles of women -- e.g.
Sarah, Rachel, Rebecca, Leah. OT history portrays other incidents
too, which are very adverse to women, e.g. Hagar's rejection by Abraham
and Sarah, the rapes of Dinah and Bathsheba. There are other Old
Testament examples of women who challenged the authority of their
husbands -- Vashti and Abigail, or who functioned independently, e.g.
Shiprah and Puah, Jael, Deborah, Huldah. Though a wife was
usually considered as a husband's possession (Ex. 20:17), she was by no
means a husband's slave (Deut. 21:14).
Let us look at the barriers within the family which
inhibit the fulfillment of women's roles:
1. Indian Socio-Cultural Expectations:
Today the term "helper" (used to refer to the woman
in Gen. 2:18) has come to mean "servant." The woman is considered
as man's property or a repository of his honor. The male members
of the family do not see her as an independent human being. Any
attempt on her part at independent decision making is seen as a blot on
the family honor and status quo. For example, in many parts of
rural India, women are not allowed to go out except when their husbands
ask them to do so. Without the husband's or in-law's permission
she is not allowed to go to her parental home. Many
mothers-in-law expect their daughters-in-law to take their permission
even to go out with their own husbands. Due to the patriarchal
culture and traditions of our country, a woman is considered as a
family slave. Her function is to bear and raise the children, to
do the household chores, and please her family members. She is
expected to docilely accept violence to her mind, body, and spirit.
2. Male Headship and Female Subordination:
Gen. 2:18-22, 1 Cor 11:3, and Eph. 5:22-24 are
interpreted to advocate the superiority of the man's position in
relation to the wife's position. Headship and subordination are
seen within the framework of a patriarchal system. This, in turn,
has led to the reinforcing of the traditional Indian understanding of
woman's role which is severely restrictive, oppressive, and
stifling. The result is a poor self-image which in turn hinders a
woman to achieve her potential as a wife and mother, as the Bible
teaches.
However, it is not only the patriarchal system which
is to blame, but also a faulty understanding of the Biblical concepts
of headship, partnership, and subordination. Keeping such a
background in mind, the woman's role as wife and mother becomes
extremely crucial for an Indian Christian woman. The view that
God created both man and women equal and in God's image needs to be
affirmed, to challenge this distortion.
3. The Joint Family System:
The Biblical injunction in Gen. 2:24 is "Therefore a
man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they
become one flesh." However, in the Indian context we have the
joint family system, which is mostly patriarchal and patrilineal in
nature. In my opinion, this is the greatest barrier for Christian
women to fulfill their biblical roles. It is the wife who
generally leaves her family and joins her husband's family.
Socially, she is under the authority of her mother-in-law. Her
husband exercises authority over her, reinforced by the authority of
his family. Thus, a woman struggles between two
authorities. Her loyalty and obedience to God's authority is
superseded by the patriarchal authorities.
Secondly, whether a woman lives in a rural or urban
setting, in a joint family she is part of a network of relationships
which includes grandparents, children, in-laws and other
relatives. It hinders the intimate relationship between husband
and wife which the scripture sees as essential in marriage. She
does not experience that love from her husband which should nourish and
cherish her whole personality. Thus, the household work, rearing
of children, caring for her husband and others become burdens of the
wife.
Conclusion:
The above three points clearly indicate how the
Bible is used to reinforce the traditional understandings and role
models of how the relationship between husband and wife, male and
female, should be. But it has also presented a biblical
understanding of equality between husband and wife.
There is an urgent need to educate our members, both
women and men, to understand male - female relationships, as well as
the scriptures in the right way. There is also an urgent need to
provide space for couples to interact, share, and sort out their
problems of interpersonal relationships. Programs oriented
towards this should be promoted.
By re-reading the Biblical passsages with a new
perspective, pastors, church leaders, and couples themselves may be
helped to understand the marriage relationship as a partnership,
sharing, encouraging and upbuilding one another, out of reverence for
Christ.
Questions for Discussion:
1. How do you understand your role in the family?
2. What is your understanding of submission and
subordinate role of a wife? Has this bible
study given you new insights?
3. Discuss barriers inhibiting women and men from
discovering new roles and relationships in daily
life in your context.
4. Suggests ways to overcome these barriers.