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I got married to on 28th November 2004.The day after my engagement
my sister in law sent me an SMS saying that she hates me and I should
not send her any photos of my engagement. I doubt if I had hardly ever
interacted with her.
On the third day after my marriage, my mother in law told me that they
never liked me, but they agreed to this match as a compromise.
According to her the compromise was because of my husband`s increasing
age. But now looking back, I wonder was it also because of his
addiction to pornography, or other reasons which became clear to me
after marriage.. During the period that followed our marriage, I was
kept under total house arrest. After I came back from hospital (where
I was working), I was not even allowed to go to the local market. My
husband used to totally ignore me. In addition, whenever he used to
talk to me, it used to be to shout at me for some or other reason.
In the meantime, my mother in law started demanding a Honda city car,
a flat , and a permanent place in my father's clinic for my husband.
However, my father being a self-made man never agreed to this. My
husband frequently asked me what has he got from marrying me Then they
would have given much more to their daughter in dowry. When ever my
husband used to abuse me , my mother in law would tell me that I
should silently listen to all abuses because I was a woman, and in
their house women don't speak. She also never allowed me to sit with
my husband saying that men are allowed to come to their wives only in
the night. My husband was addicted to pornography and spent most of
his time watching pornography on computer.
I became pregnant in Jan2005.i was on duty in my hospital when I
developed threatened abortion. The doctor on duty advised me to go on
complete bed rest. I asked my husband to come and pick me up, as I was
not allowed to walk even. He fought with me and asked me to drive back
home. I had to call my parents in order to save my pregnancy. They
came and picked me up and dropped me to my in laws house. This was not
liked by my husband, who again fought with me till late in the night.
Verbal ,physical, and mental abuses on me by my husband and my mother
in law increased. I developed threatened abortion due to which I was
put on strict bed rest. The verbal abuse by my husband continued. The
refrigerator was shifted downstairs so that I was dependent even for
water or food. I was always blamed for not asking my father to send my
husband patients. My husband went to the extent of asking me to ask my
father for one patient for every night he spends with me, failing
which my mother in law banned that I could not close the doors of the
bedroom at night. Though I was on complete bed rest as adviced by
doctors due to threatened abortion, I was expected to do all the
household work, as there was no servant in the house.
An ultrasound conducted in 6th week of pregnancy showed that I was
carrying twin babies. Then my mother in law started demanding sex
determination. My in laws and husband got that done by deception. They
knew I was allergic to egg. The fed me egg laden cake, telling me that
it was eggless. When I became sick I wanted to have treatment with
consent of my husband at home, but he took me a hospital. He and his
mother accompanied me. They got me admitted there, and then gave a
call to my mother asking her to come. The doctor advised K.U.B
(Kidney, ureter, bladder).ultrasound, but the report mentions K.U.B.
only in two lines, rest all is fetal ultrasound. (copies of all
details I have with me, which I can produce )
Then they started demanding that I get an M.T.P. My mother in law
asked me many times to at least get one child killed in utero. I was
kept without food and water. My husband was totally ignoring me and
was indulging in watching pornography all the time. My husband once,
on my protesting against his addiction to pornography, turned me out
of the house at 10.p.m. in the night and asked me to go to my fathers
house. He said "ja aapne baap ke ghar ja" when I asked him
to at least take my mobile, or my car keys, as where I would go in
pregnancy, to which he replied "is ghar se kisi cheez ko haath
lagaya to thapar parega". My father in law intervened and asked
my husband to let me stay the night, and morning he could send me to
my parents.
On 17 May 2004, after one such verbal abuse throughout the night, I
developed bleeding and threatened abortion, I was not even allowed to
call up my parents for medical help. I managed to call up my father in
the morning. After much persuasion by my father, my husband agreed to
take me to the nursing home, but he drove too rashly on the entire
drive .Thrice they tried to kill me or at least get me aborted after
which my father brought me back to my parent's home.
My mother in law told me that two daughters would be a big burden on
them, and that I should give one of them up for adoption, get them
aborted, or at least one of them killed.
My in laws and husband hardly ever accompanied me for antenatal tests
or hospital visits after they came to know I am carrying daughters. My
mother did all that. My husband would frequently fight with me even in
my parents house .He demanded D.N.A test because his mother had told
him that some priest had told them that he would be father of one son
only. As I am carrying two daughters, they cannot be his children. I
had filed a complaint to S.H.O, but it was only for information, and I
had requested no action to be taken.
Despite all this tensions, I delivered two-pre term daughters on
11/08/2005.My in laws never visited me for full 9 days. Then my sister
in laws , my mother in law, and my father in law came to visit me. One
of my aunts congratulated my sisters in law. They said "God
forbid, we ever become bhuas of girls again" .My mother in law
said, "Anyway, they are born in seventh month so they are not
going to survive anyway". My younger daughter stayed in the
nursery for almost one month. They did not try to pay the hospital
bills also, which were paid by my parents.
I tried multiple times to go back to my in laws house. However, there
a lot of verbal abuse, I had no help in looking after children. There
was no love or respect for children or me. I was not even sure my
children and I would be safe there. My mother in law deliberately
pushed down my 4-month-old daughter from the staircase and pretended
it was an accident.Fortunately I was able to hold her carrying cot and
save her harm. They never showed any love or affection towards them.
Their grandparents & aunts, have rejected them totally.
My case has been registered in Crime against Women Cell, but I started
receiving threatening calls, from people claiming to be inspectors
from CAW, asking me to withdraw my case against my in laws. During
this period I met Mrs Bijaya Laxmi Nanda, campaign coordinator,
C.A.P.F. and was able to get support from her. I also through the
campaign shared my story with students of various colleges in Delhi
university, in order to raise awareness on the issue of female
feticide and gender equality.
However, my sister in law and mother in law were still making it
difficult for me to return to my in laws or live peacefully with my
daughters. My sister in law s marriage got fixed up in Jan07. In order
that there is no hindrance to her marriage getting fixed, I had
allowed my complaint file to be temporarily closed. Before her
marriage, my sister in law had demanded that my parents give her a
Honda city car in her marriage as a gift. I resisted this demand to
which my father in law asked me "what is your father doing with
three cars? Why can't he give one nice luxury car to us?" She got
married in may07 after which I expected I could restart my family
life. However, she left her in laws house on 3rd day of marriage and
has come back to her parent's house, where she is staying up until
now. Now she is blaming me of breaking her marriage because we did not
meet her demand for Honda city car.
She starting abusing me whenever I tried to go to my in laws house and
had been sending me abusive e-mails. She has told her parents to stop
giving me food when I come home. She has been openly saying that she
hates my innocent daughters and me. So again, I started staying in my
parent's house.
My husband used to come sometimes to meet the children, and I thought
he is developing some affection towards them.. He has never lifted his
voice against the injustice being done to his wife and children. On
the other hand, he has several times fought with me over the demands
made by them. He has been fighting with me whenever I would ask for
more time, money, or mental and emotional support for children and me.
He has never tried that his parents and sisters accept my children and
me. My husband had been trying to spy on my movements since a long
time. It started by his installing spy ware on my computer, to bribing
our maids, to pass him information regarding my movements.
Madam, I received a call on my residence telephone , at around 5; 30
p.m on 30 October 2007. The caller said - "aapko apne bachon ki
zindagi se pyar nahin hai kya , aap khurana sahib se pange kyun le
rahe ho" and then kept down the phone. Madam, my husband has been
saying since last four days (i.e. before the call) that he is having
an intuition that there is threat of kidnapping to our daughters.
Madam, this is the third threatening call which I have received in the
last three years(since my marriage) last one was received on 29th
November 2006, in which the caller threatened I and my daughters will
be killed if I continue the relationship with my husband Madam, there
has been a constant threat to my daughters right from the time before
their birth, when my in laws had got sex determination done , and
tried there best to get me aborted. Even after their birth, they have
not been accepted or shown any love by their paternal grandparents or
their paternal aunts. However, throughout I have been trying that my
daughters get their father, and that their paternal grandparents
accept them.
Madam, we have given the F.I.R. to S.H.O We had been called by S.H.O.
.My husband was also called. In front of the police inspector, my
husband stated that I am torturing him, and am not living with him. In
addition, am in fact making him go to women cell, however I have
always been asking only for counseling and no action to be taken
because I wanted a father for my children. I have been staying with my
parents for past 2 years or so, for the sake of security of my
daughters. I have repeatedly tried to make peace with my in laws. So
far, I have failed in all my attempts. As a Indian woman, I am also
under a lot of social pressure to return to my husband.
Madam, so when S.H.O. also asked me to take a separate house with my
husband and live with him and my husband verbally promised me to mend
his ways, and agreed to take full responsibility for our safety and
security if I shift with him. He asked for one last chance to mend his
ways. I was tempted to give him that chance for the sake of my
daughters. At this point I also underwent counseling from NavJyoti
counseling center.
My husband started calling me a prostitute and said that I go for
"dhandha" every evening & that is how I am buying new
clothes for my self and my children.
On 14/01/08, my sister in law called me on my landline number , call
was made from her landline. She was very abusive and has accused me of
having an affair with her husband , against whom she has filed a case
under domestic violence act. They are putting all these allegations on
me only to mentally torture me. My sister in law has left her in laws
house within 3 days of her marriage, and has come back to my house.
Now she has banned me entry into my in laws house. My husband and in
laws are putting baseless allegations on me in order to mentally
torture me.
Madam, till before two months, my husband has been a regular visitor
to my parents and relatives houses. He has been openly and freely
using telephones, mobiles, and computer from our house. Now he has
started threatening me that he is going to send me and my family to
jail for a minimum of 5 years if I do not withdraw my complaints
against him and his family. I do not know what he has been doing. Last
week he said that certain e-mails have been sent from my maternal
uncle's computer to his sister. I do not have any knowledge regarding
those mails, nor does anyone in my family. He is not even ready to
show us the printouts. I feel we are being trapped.
my husband had put two conditions on me for me to settle into a
separate house with him. The two conditions are
1) that I break away from all my relatives including my parents and
siblings – Madam, here it is to be noted that it is my parents who
have been supporting me mentally, physically, emotionally, and
financially for the past 3 years since my in laws had been demanding
that I get my daughters killed in utero. Madam it was only because of
my parents and relatives that I had been able to bring my daughters
into this world, and it is only because of their efforts that all
three of us( myself and my 2 daughters ) are alive today. My in laws
would have got us killed long ago. Their paternal family members have
not yet accepted my daughters. For past 2-3 months, their father had
also deserted us completely. Whenever my sister in law and mother in
law, instructs my husband, he completely abandons us, and stops
visiting us also. We are at their mercy. It is only my parents who
support us mentally and emotionally during those periods of
abandonment. Financially too it is my parents who have been supporting
children and me for past 3 years. My husband does not pay or give me
allowances for the children or myself.
2) my husband is pressurizing me to file a false against his brother
in law- against whom they have filed a case under domestic violence
act My in laws have been falsely accusing me of having an affair with
him. Now my husband is saying that if you are not having any affair
with him, then you come to the police station and file a case of
defamation and mental harassment against him.
3) He asked for a Honda city car from one of my cousins, as a payment
to settle my life.
4) He asked me to withdraw all complaints made by me against him and
his family members.
After much persuasion by friends and family, my husband agreed to take
me into the rented accommodation without any conditions. I settled the
whole home, buying everything from a spoon, to a broom, to even a bed
for children, two Almirahs, curtains, and many other daily needs
things. For this, I had to take finances from my parents as my husband
refused to give them. Still we thought it is a small price to pay for
settling three lives.
I had shifted out with my husband on 26/3/08, into rented
accommodation. On the first night itself, he told me that he hates me
and he is living with me only because I am not ready to divorce him,
and he feels he will never get divorce if he contests it. On 27/03/08,
he asked me to prepare dinner, which I did. Then I came back to my
parent's house as per his instructions. He said he will pick me up at
10.00p.m. at around 10 p.m. when I called him up to ask him when is he
going to come, his sister picked up the phone, and started abusing me
and accusing me of damaging her married life. She asked me to deposit
the compensation in her bank account for it or she will destroy
children's life and mine. and then i was turned out in the middle of
the night
Originally posted at 7:11PM, 28 April 2008 PDT ( permalink
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Mitu K edited this topic 4 months ago.
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